What is Marriage?

“A marriage, like a human life, is a precious thing” says Dallin H. Oaks in his May 2007 address titled Divorce.

Have you ever thought of a marriage like that before? Precious.

Can you think of any other inception more anticipated than a marriage? In the weeks leading up to my wedding my emotions were nearly indescribable: excited, elated, worried, flighty, curious, happy, exhausted, inquisitive, scrambled, festive. Does this not sound almost like a living thing? Something of this magnitude is almost tangible. There are many things in this life that are precious, but none as precious as a human life than is marriage. Close your eyes and picture marriage. If you concentrate on marriage being precious I bet you can almost feel it as a solid warm ball cradled in the palms of your hands.



What would you say a system is? I have heard it described as being a whole greater than the sum of its parts. A marriage is a system that is structured to hold a family together. If one part fails then there is system-wide malfunction. When a man and a woman form a marriage there is more to it than just companionship. There is commitment. No other relationship can come close to the bonding strength that this commitment brings. When this system of marriage is sealed with the glue of commitment then it becomes a living, breathing, precious thing. Everything and anything should be done to keep this system alive.

How, you may ask, do you do this in light of our society’s general regard of marriage? How can you keep something this precious from falling apart? Simple: forget about yourself. Ok, you do need to take care of yourself, but in a precious marriage your focus is to be anxiously engaged in concern for your spouse’s well-being. If you are both doing this then all of your respective needs will be met. Instead of constantly thinking about yourself and what you can get out of a marriage, instead do the following: be your spouse’s best friend, be kind and considerate, be sensitive to each other’s needs, and always seek to make each other happy.

Again, I quote Elder Dallin H. Oaks when I say “a good marriage does not require a perfect man or a perfect woman. It only requires a man and a woman committed to strive together toward perfection.”

Marriage is not looking for your soulmate. Marriage is not perfect wedded bliss. Marriage is not a business venture to only be pursued as long as you are getting the better end of the deal. Marriage is not unattainable expectations for your spouse. Marriage is not an economical convenience. Marriage means something. Do not murder marriage through neglect, force, selfishness, or abandonment.

Marriage is precious; as precious as a human life.